Let's form advocacy group, enact laws, collect money
Pub Date: 11/1/2005
Epidemic! Crisis!
By Cole Boehler
Editor and Publisher
These days, it is common practice to rename, redefine or distort a phenomena or initiative in order for it to better fit a special interest's objectives.
For example, in March Congress passed the "Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act of 2005."
We're all for preventing abuse of any kind and, sure, consumers deserve protection. So, sounds good, right?
However, behind It's righteous title, the bill is generally acknowledged to have been a gift to the banking and credit card industry, making it much more difficult for consumers to declare bankruptcy and making it easier for credit institutions to suck blood out of turnips. But it sure sounds nice.
See, It's all about spin and deception.
With raised eyebrows we observe some of the new terms, euphemisms and definitions that have recently been improvised or have otherwise come into use. For example:
¢ Binge drinking: If someone consumes five drinks in 3-5 hours.
So, drink five beers over fours hours of a Super Bowl, and you've been "binge drinking." We used to think of a "binge" as inebriation over an extended period.
¢ Now, the American Medical Association includes people aged 12-20 in its definition of "children."
Soldiers and husbands and wives and mothers and fathers and business owners and students and voters aged 18, 19 and 20 would surely object to the new characterization.
¢ "Alcohol related fatality" - where any one person involved in any way, not necessarily a driver or person at fault, has a BAC of .01 (one-eighth the amount required for legal intoxication), or the equivalent of one half of a beer.
Do you suppose this ridiculous "definition" inflates the real severity of the problem? Gains media and public attention? Under this specious definition, there were 17,000 "alcohol related" highway fatalities in 2004. However, we saw grossly inaccurate headlines that said we had 17,000 "drunk driving" fatalities, a total fiction. That's "spin."
Just as legitimate, let's define "fatigue related accident": Less than eight hours sleep in the last 24 hours?
How about "Distraction related accident": Having removed eyes from the road or mirrors for more than .08 seconds (some are advocating a tougher .05 standard)'; or swatting at unruly children while driving.
"Unsafe road conditions related accident": Pothole, bump, low-friction surface, curve, hill, blind corner, poor striping, poor signage, speed limit set too low (or too high), animals present, sand, debris, fuel and manure spills (if you've got livestock haulers in your area, you know about this last one).
"Cell phone related accident": When a cell phone is within reaching distance of anyone involved in the accident, including passengers and pedestrians.
Maybe we need an "Accessible Cell Phone Public Protection Act" making it a crime to have a cell phone in a vehicle unless it is locked in the glove box or trunk.
"Weather related accident": When rain, snow, wind, dust, smoke, sunrise, sunset, dawn, dusk or darkness are present.
Should we allow anyone to drive under these dangerous conditions? New laws should be enacted.
"Critter avoidance related accident": When successfully or unsuccessfully attempting to dodge big four-leggeds such as cows, horses, sheep, pigs, bears or moose'; or smaller four-leggeds such as raccoons, possums, porcupines, definitely skunks, armadillos, dogs, kitties'; or two-leggeds such as accordion or banjo players, lawyers (sorry, Harry)'; or no-leggeds such as snakes.
"Geriatric related accident": No can do'; politically incorrect and offensive to a powerful voting block.
"Adolescence related accident": Flirting'; music too loud to think or hear'; punching, poking, smacking etc. one or dozens of friends that are driving, or passengers or pedestrians'; applying make-up'; wearing sunglasses with tinted windows'; practicing smoking'; fishing smoldering bobbled cigarette from crotch'; tail-gaiting.
Come on, let's protect our kids!
Are these "impaired conditions" perhaps more dangerous than a passenger having consumed one-half of a beer .01 BAC? We can see the need to begin tracking these various types of accidents and the need for "tough measures to deal with these dangerous forms of impaired driving."
Perhaps grieving parents who have lost a child in a "cell phone related accident" could form an advocacy group: Parents intent on Stopping Telephones (PIST).
Here are some other fun definitions we've come up with ourselves:
¢ Reporter - a media person who reprints news releases from advocacy groups and safety nannies, then tops it with an inflammatory headline.
¢ News - previously ignored information that has been available for years from a source "reporters" despise or distrust, but has now been corroborated and released by a source that is viewed as being "on the right side of an issue."
¢ Propaganda - information provided by a "special interest," to be immediately and summarily dismissed.
¢ Special interest - the sources reporters despise or distrust'; sources inherently corrupt because they have a business connection.
¢ Epidemic - a recurring social or medical phenomena that has been in a historical decline, but has recently been adopted as the "cause d' jour" by "public policy advocates."
¢ Crisis - see "epidemic."
¢ Public policy advocates - any organization that redefines parameters required for a "social problem," then concludes it is an "epidemic" or "crisis," then solicits money, some private but mostly public, to fix the contrived problem.
¢ Public policy advocacy business - a self perpetuating organization that, like a business, seeks to increase income and salaries and grow in stature and public recognition by repeatedly defining social phenomena as a "crisis" or "epidemic," but always moves back the goal posts so as to never fulfill its worthy mission and exists into perpetuity.
¢ Public policy advocacy industry - the seeming tens of thousands of public policy advocacy organizations in aggregate.
¢ Progressive public policy - the product of public policy advocacy organizations, which serves to limit personal freedom, choice and responsibility, and seeks to make us all live to be 100 years old whether we want to or not.
So, have at it! Define and redefine to your heart's content. Create a crisis or epidemic. Apply for government grants. Become a public policy advocate, then its CEO. Set yourself a nice comfortable salary. Hire staff to apply for more grants. Expand your mission. Grow!
It's too late to get in on the ground floor but the potential is still enormous.
Source: ABL Leader, November, 2005, published monthly by Continental Communications, 125 W. Granite St., Suite 102, Butte, MT 59701.